


The Time and Place

by melonbutterfly



Series: Trope Bingo stories [3]
Category: Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Fluffy Ending, Future Fic, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 07:35:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6602329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonbutterfly/pseuds/melonbutterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Chris doesn't realize until he's finished with Marvel, nothing left of his contract except a few potential cameos in any movies to come. Up until that point, his life had had an in-built guarantee: he'll see Sebastian soon.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>In which Chris at first is slow about everything, and then fast about everything. (But not what you're probably thinking of right now, though.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Time and Place

**Author's Note:**

  * For [luninosity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luninosity/gifts).



> Happy Birthday! Hope you have a great day with lots of awesome presents and cake ♥

Chris doesn't realize until he's finished with Marvel, nothing left of his contract except a few potential cameos in any movies to come. Up until that point, his life had had an in-built guarantee: he'll see Sebastian soon. The definition of "soon" varied between a few months and a few days, but ultimately he was always sure of Sebastian's presence in his life. So sure that he hadn't even been aware of it until that assurance, that guarantee suddenly falls away.

At first Chris isn't even aware; too preoccupied with more pressing things, primarily the anxiety and freedom of not being contractually bound anymore. But one day not too long after his last Marvel movie's release, he wakes up with a sinking feeling in his chest and the realization: I won't see Sebastian anymore.

It's both wrong and true. Of course he'll still see Sebastian, they're moving in the same circles and there'll be award ceremonies and events where they'll cross paths. But it will be different, so different he can't even fathom how this never crossed his mind before.

Now, he'd like to say that the first thing he does is contact Sebastian and discuss this, make sure they're on the same page with wanting to stay in contact. It would be the smart, reasonable thing to do.

But that's not what happens. Instead, Chris freezes in indecision, caught between his own desire and the fear that Sebastian didn't even notice, doesn't even care. One month becomes two becomes three, and by this point Chris is painfully aware that it's too late and it'll be awkward now for him to just call Sebastian out of the blue. And yet he can't just let it go, book it as another connection he failed to make and move on. The thought of never having a conversation, a real, long conversation with Sebastian, is legitimately painful. Never again seeing Sebastian's smile aimed at him, the real, private one, the way Sebastian will bite his lower lip when gathering his thoughts to make a point, how his long, elegant fingers will play with something when he's absent-minded. Pianist's hands, Chris had always thought, and never questioned that he spent so much time thinking about Sebastian's hands, his eyes, his gentleness and his mischievousness, the way he'll never demand attention and thrive when it's given to him nevertheless. There's a calmness in Sebastian, a sweetness that Chris has always admired, and not for one second did he stop to wonder how it is that Sebastian occupies his thoughts in a way that none of his other friends and colleagues do.

Chris has always been thoughtful about this sort of thing, prefers not getting involved at all rather than delve into something he isn't sure about, but this is something else. 

He's in love. Painfully obvious only in hindsight, Chris feels ridiculously stupid about his own obliviousness. Why did he never stop to think about how he'd watch Sebastian in something close to wonder? Admiring that beautiful face is only the start of it, the way those elegant hands wave when he speaks like he's weaving his thoughts into sentences, that breathtaking quirk of his lips when he's trying to suppress a grin, the captivating twinkle in those eyes, blue like the sea on a stormy summer day.

Remembering the way he'd so freely touch Sebastian makes Chris hot and cold in hindsight, and the clarity with which he recalls is a signal too. He can't remember a single instance of touching Anthony, for example. It must have happened, hugs hello and goodbye at the very least, but Chris doesn't at all remember how Anthony smells, nor the feeling of being in his arms and holding him, the way he does Sebastian.

It's ridiculous, the way Chris pines now, in hindsight if not retroactively, and yet doesn't dare do anything about it. But no matter how self-aware Chris is about it, that doesn't stop him from being caught up in a loop of anxiety and indecision, insecurity and yearning.

It's been five months since he last saw Sebastian in person when they meet again, on the red carpet. Chris spots him from a distance, already jittery just from the thought that he'll see Sebastian again, and for a solid minute he just freezes. Stares at Sebastian, charming and beautiful and practically glowing, working the crowd with skill, answering questions and messing with his coworkers, two women from a film he just made. It's possible Chris might have Sebastian on Google alert, because as uncomfortable and vaguely creepy as he feels about it, it's easier than the somehow insurmountable hurdle actually contacting Sebastian has become.

Somebody bumps into him none-too-gently, jolting him out of his thoughts before they can spiral out of control, and abruptly he remembers where he is, what he's here for. This is part of his job too; networking, being seen, answering questions, posing for pictures. So he plays his part, but it's just that: playing. The decreasing distance between him and Sebastian is always at the forefront of his mind and he can only hope that his distraction isn't too obvious.

Things don't progress smoothly, of course they don't; with his head start Sebastian makes it through the interviewer mile first and vanishes inside. It's an ache in Chris' belly that doesn't go away until he makes it inside too – not away from interviewers or watching eyes, of course, there's press inside, too. But there are also drinks, and a bit more privacy. He can get a drink and relax for a moment, take a few deep breaths to calm down, and then he can try to find Sebastian. This is ridiculous; he's being ridiculous and it has to stop.

That's what Chris is planning when he steps inside, but naturally nothing goes according to plan. Because Sebastian is already waiting for him, clearly for him. There are two flutes of champagne in his hands and his face lights up when he spots Chris; he makes a beeline straight for him, so there's really no doubt about it.

So much for catching his breath.

"Chris," Sebastian says when he reaches him, lips stretched into a smile too wide to be contained, eyes bright, one lock of hair somewhere between artfully styled and messy falling into his forehead. God, he's beautiful.

"Sebastian," Chris breathes, "hey, hi. It's so good to see you." There's nothing he wants more than draw Sebastian into a hug, but with both of Sebastian's hands occupied holding a flute of champagne that would probably be nothing but awkward.

Sebastian elegantly solves the problem by offering Chris one of the flutes and, once Chris has taken it, draws him into a short, one-armed hug. "Hey. Long time no see."

"Too long," Chris replies, and he doesn't blurt it out accidentally; it's entirely on purpose. This is it: he's going for full-on honesty here. It's likely it'll only make things awkward for everyone involved, but if he doesn't do this now he's never going to. And no second-guessing himself either, because that'll only lead to talking himself out of it. "I missed you."

"You did?" Sebastian's smile softens, pleased, and he ducks his head. A light flush dusts his cheeks and Chris can't remember a time Sebastian has looked lovelier. "This isn't the first time we haven't seen each other in months."

"Yes, but the other times I always knew I was going to get to see you again soon." Honesty. Full-on honesty. God, how is this so hard? He's done the most awkward, embarrassing things for the camera and none of them were as difficult to do as this. "I, uh, I've been meaning to get in touch with you but I was being too much of an awkward failboat about it. It's okay if you don't, I mean, what I'm trying to say is... uh. I really missed you. Sorry."

At first all Sebastian does is stare at him, a little wide-eyed, a little dazed. Then he seems to catch himself and quickly shakes his head. "No! No, you have nothing to apologize for, I could have- I should have gotten in contact myself. But I figured you... you said you were happy to have a bit of a break from it all."

"Yes, but I didn't mean _you_ ," Chris helplessly tries to explain, except he's not really explaining himself here, is he?

Well, hell. This is getting nowhere. Chris really needs to... as hard as it is, as kind and forgiving as Sebastian is being right now, he deserves for Chris to be clearer.

He opens his mouth to do that. "I... I was, uhm. It's entirely my fault, I meant it. I just, my thoughts just went circular I guess and I panicked. Because I uh, it's different with you because I have feelings. For you."

Sebastian's mouth drops open. Stunned, he stares at Chris for several moments, not even blinking, only to very suddenly flush so red he almost looks dizzy for a second. That's nice, because Chris is feeling a little dizzy himself. Oh god. "You... do."

"I... yes." Chris ducks his head and examines his shoes. They're very... shiny. Spotless. Because he's kind of paranoid about that sort of thing.

"This is the worst location for this conversation," Sebastian says slowly. When Chris glances up, peering at him through his eyelashes, Sebastian still looks stunned, but also determined, frustrated, and... glowing.

Glowing?

Except, oh god. "You're right. Shit, I fucked this up, didn't I? I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have... I'll just go and-"

A finger on his lips stops him mid-sentence. Sebastian's finger, silencing him, and now he looks only determined. Still with that lovely flush and eyes so bright, but also with an expression like he's ready to get down to business and defeat the huns.

Maybe not that one.

"This is the worst time and place because I really want to kiss you right now and I don't think that'd be a good idea to do in public until we've had a couple of conversations," Sebastian says. His voice barely even wobbles; he's so much braver than Chris.

Wait, what? "You- _really_?" Now Chris is the one who's gaping. Is this a dream? Did Sebastian really say what Chris thinks he just said?

Despite his flush deepening again, Sebastian meets Chris' eyes head on. "Yes. I- I thought I was really obvious about it, but I guess not? We-" With a grimace, he looks around, and right, they're surrounded by people. They're in _public_ , with cameras and eyes all around them, fuck. "We really need to talk about this some other place. Do you, uhm. Would you like to have coffee together tomorrow?"

Well. Tomorrow is really damn far away.

Chris blinks once, then drains his previously untouched and almost forgotten flute of champagne in go. "Oh no," he then deadpans. "I think I've been drinking too much. I really need the bathroom. I'll see you in a minute?"

Then he turns on his heel and makes a beeline for the bathroom, walking fast enough that anybody who looks like they might want to approach him subsides once he acknowledges them with a nod and a smile, but without stopping. The bathroom isn't very busy yet, the evening just having started, so Chris has the privacy to slump against the wall for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he tries to make sense of all that just happened.

He told Sebastian about his feelings. Sebastian then indicated that he wants to kiss him, and Chris... fuck. Chris pulled the least subtle move in the history of subtlety, and he didn't even wait for Sebastian to agree. What if Sebastian thinks Chris asked him here for... something other than... conversation?

Shit, Chris doesn't even know himself why exactly he wanted to meet Sebastian in privacy. It's like his brain just switched off for a moment and all he did was react to the fact that tomorrow is really a long time to wait for to... talk. To give each other some clarity, maybe.

Definitely. Chris really should have been clearer as to the nature of his feelings, and maybe Sebastian just wants to let him down gently in private-

No, he said he wants to kiss him. Cruel is the very last adjective anyone could apply to Sebastian; he wouldn't have said that if he didn't mean something by it.

The door opens and Sebastian stumbles in, still a little flushed, a little wide-eyed, hair messier than before like he ran his hand through it more than once.

"Se-"

Once again, Chris is interrupted by Sebastian, but it's not his finger that he puts on Chris' lips. No: with absolute resolve Sebastian cups Chris' face with both hands, grip so gentle despite the decisiveness of the gesture, and steps into his space, presses their lips together while Chris' are still trying to form his name.

The toilet. Their first kiss is happening in a toilet.

 _Their first kiss is happening_.

There's no point denying it; Chris has pictured this moment many times. How it came to be he was always a bit hazy about, but he's a romantic at heart, so while he did think about Sebastian in more... heated moments too, this is something he fantasized about as well. And he's kissed people before, people he cared for, was in love with at the time, so he thought he did a good job.

His imagination has absolutely nothing on reality.

There's something breathtaking, almost magical about this moment, nevermind the location; Sebastian's lips are warm, a little damp, a little swollen like he's been biting them, a bit chapped. They're gentle against Chris', move slowly, not so much an exploration as a... savoring. Like Sebastian, too, has been picturing this moment, their first kiss, fantasizing about it, and revels in it now that it's here.

God, Chris loves him so much his heart feels like it wants to burst out of his chest. It's all he can do not to hug Sebastian to his chest and squeeze like he never wants to let him go. Wrap his arms around Sebastian he does, and despite the fact that this isn't the first time his hands have been on Sebastian's back, his waist, this time it feels entirely different, entirely new.

Sebastian leans into him even more, slides one hand into Chris' hair to tug on it gently, coaxing a sigh from Chris. At that, Sebastian sighs as well, leans back a little, just enough so their lips aren't touching anymore but their breath mingles still.

Chris opens eyes he didn't realize he closed to look at Sebastian, who looks about as dazed as Chris feels. "That was..."

"Yeah," Sebastian breathes.

"...not what I planned," Chris finishes, and right as the words come out of his mouth he realizes how they sound. "Not that I- I loved this, I want to do this again, preferably at least once per hour from this moment until the day I die, but I meant... I wanted to tell you that I'm in love with you. In a better place than out there."

"The bathroom isn't much better than out there," Sebastian points out. His hand is still in Chris' hair, fingers carding lazily, probably hopelessly messing him up. Just as distracting is the pleased, happy smile that brightens up Sebastian's entire face and doesn't seem to want to leave.

If Chris has any say in the matter, from now on Sebastian will smile like this forever; even on bad days, Chris will do his best to make Sebastian smile at least once, he swears it to himself then and there.

A little belatedly, Chris points out, "I'm not responsible for that, you decided that here was a good place to do this."

One of Sebastian's eyebrows goes up and his smile transforms into that cheeky little smirk of his that has the power to make Chris weak in the knees. Luckily, he has a wall at his back to support him; it is solely needed right now. "True," Sebastian agrees placidly. "Seems like we're terrible at picking a good time and place for this sort of thing. Sounds to me like we deserve each other. What do you think?"

Crying right now would probably not be a good thing to do, even if it is from happiness. So Chris swallows, smiles, a little watery, and presses a quick kiss to Sebastian's lips. Then he has to do it again, because _Sebastian_. "I think you deserve to have everything you want. If that's me, then... absolutely."

"Sap," Sebastian whispers, closes his eyes, leans his forehead against Chris'. "Of course it's you."

Maybe Chris does cry a little after all, but Sebastian doesn't seem to mind.

**Author's Note:**

> they're so lucky nobody walked in on them honestly  
> then again they probably were so obvious about everything - in a room full of actors no less - that everybody was probably just like "god finally" and "whelp guess i'll use the upstairs bathroom then"


End file.
